Who do you think you are? (Now this reminds me of a Spice Girls song. Am i showing my age here :-)).
Tool 7a – What I think about me, myself, and I
Who do you think you are? Self-esteem is how we see and value ourselves. It is essential to have value and appreciation for self. Every aspect of self needs our own loving-kindness. The more we can discover about ourselves, the more awareness we have on the parts of self that we may pay little attention to; the parts we may ignore. We may be great at supporting others and helping them to see the best in themselves and shining a light for them in times of need. It is essential we offer the same care for self.
As a wonderful therapist and friend of mine once told me – ‘The key is learning to become our own best friend’. I mentioned the being your own best friend tool in an earlier page.
- Use your journal to make a list of all the words you would use to describe yourself.
Tool 8 – Self-check
Read back over the list you have written. How many of the words are positive/progressive and helpful? How many are negative/non-progressive and not helpful? Where did these views come from? It is not a time to judge or blame, it is a time to check-in and notice. Be aware of the feelings that may be triggered (and again no judgement), just aim to be aware.
Remember each aspect of ‘self’, will have both a light and shadow aspect. Which aspect do we show? e.g. a sunny, happy personality may be revealed daily (light) to disguise or cover (shadow) an aspect of self that is feeling sad (or vice versa).
Tool 9 – ‘A’ – you are adorable
This activity is inspired by a very old song my dad used to sing. Thanks Dad!
I am using it here to offer a challenge for you if you would like to accept this challenge?
Using each letter of the alphabet, can you find one positive adjective (describing word) for each letter to name some of your personal qualities? (e.g. A – adventurous, B – beautiful)
This challenge does not have to be completed all in one go. You can start simply with one letter, one word and add to this list over time. See how many words you can build to for each letter.
If you are super bold, how about asking a friend or family member to do this for you too. Make sure it is a trusted and good friend.
Tool 10 – Breathe in the compliments
How do you respond when someone pays you a compliment? For example, what would be your response if someone told you right now – ‘You look really well’, ‘You look fabulous’, ‘That is such a great achievement – well done!’.
Think about this for a while. Maybe you laugh, disagree, brush them off or dismiss them in some way? I will give an example; when I told a colleague of mine recently, she had hidden talents, she laughed (a little bit embarrassed and shy about praising herself maybe?). I spotted this because I do it! (and I imagine a lot of us do?).
Someone told me once when someone pays you a compliment or says something nice about you, rather than dismissing it, breathe it in! Yes, this may feel a little uncomfortable at first, but why not allow the good stuff in?
So, here is the challenge!
The next time someone pays you a compliment, say ‘thank you’ and breath it in to accept the compliment. If this is a real struggle for you, then tell them you are building your ability to accept compliments (rather than reject them) and then take a deep breath and breathe it in.